FOBO: The Fear That's Keeping You Stuck (And How to Work With It)
Joanne Howard 
Fear of burning out again doesn't end when you leave teaching. Discover practical tools to work with FOBO rather than letting it run your life.
Fear of Burning Out doesn't end when you leave teaching. Here's how to recognise it, understand it, and move forward anyway.
If you've been thinking about leaving teaching, there's probably one fear that you experience more than any other:
"What if I burn out in my next role too?"
"What if it's not teaching - what if it's me?"
"What if I carry this exhaustion with me wherever I go?"
This is FOBO: Fear of Burning Out. And if you're experiencing it, don’t panic - you’re having a completely rational response to what you've been through.
FOBO is so insidious because it keeps you stuck in the very situation that's burning you out in the first place.
Let me explain.
What FOBO Really Is
FOBO isn't just general anxiety about work. It's the specific fear that you'll recreate the burnout pattern in your next role - that you'll carry forward the exhaustion, the overcommitment, the inability to switch off, the pattern of saying yes when you mean no.
It's the niggling worry that the problem isn't the system, the workload, or the impossible expectations of teaching. The problem is you.
Burnout has become so familiar to you, so much a part of your baseline, you're not even sure you'd recognise the warning signs in time to stop it happening again.
FOBO is your nervous system's attempt to protect you. But it's protecting you by keeping you where you are, unable to take the very action that would actually help.
The Shape-Shifting Nature of FOBO
Working with hundreds of teachers through career transition I’ve seen again and again that FOBO doesn't stay the same. It changes shape depending on where you are in the process of leaving.
Understanding which version of FOBO you're experiencing right now can help you know what you really need.
Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation - "I'm Fine, I Can Handle This"
How FOBO shows up: Underground. You're not consciously afraid of burning out again because you're not even admitting you're burning out now.
The fear manifests as push-through behaviour. "I just need to get through this term." "Everyone else is managing, so should I." "I'm fine, I’m just tired."
Meanwhile, your body is sending signals you're ignoring: the Sunday night dread, the tension headaches, the fact that you haven't slept properly in months.
What you need: Permission to acknowledge that this isn't sustainable. That "I'm fine" is a lie you're telling yourself to avoid the fear of what comes next.
Stage 2: Contemplation - "What If It's ME, Not Teaching?"
How FOBO shows up: Loud and paralysing. You're seriously considering leaving, but now the fear has a voice and it won't shut up.
"What if every job burns me out? What if I'm just not resilient enough? What if other people can handle pressure and I can't?"
This is the stage where FOBO keeps you researching endlessly without applying, making lists without taking action, stuck between the fear of staying and the fear of leaving.
What you need: Evidence that it's the system, not you. Stories from other teachers who left and discovered they could actually thrive. Understanding that your nervous system is reacting to genuine, sustained threat, not personal weakness.
Stage 3: Preparation - "I Need to Get EVERYTHING Right or I'll Fail Again"
How FOBO shows up: As perfectionism and hypervigilance. You're committed to leaving, but now the fear is driving you to over-prepare, over-research, over-plan.
You rewrite your CV forty-seven times. You research companies obsessively. You need to know everything before you can apply for anything.
Ironically, you're recreating the very stress pattern you're trying to escape.
What you need: Permission to be imperfect. Understanding that you cannot plan your way out of uncertainty. Accountability to actually apply, not just prepare endlessly.
Stage 4: Action (Starting Your New Role) - "I Can't Tell What's Normal Anymore"
How FOBO shows up: As hypervigilance and confusion. You're in a new role, and every challenge feels like a potential warning sign.
"Is this normal new-job stress, or am I heading toward burnout again?"
Your nervous system is pattern-matching to teaching. A busy week triggers the same alarm bells as a busy week in teaching did, even though the context is completely different.
What you need: Recalibration. Tools to distinguish between healthy challenge (which helps you grow) and unhealthy stress (which depletes you). Patience with yourself as your nervous system learns that work doesn't have to feel like teaching.
Stage 5: Maintenance (Settling In) - "When Will the Other Shoe Drop?"
How FOBO shows up: As inability to trust ease. Things are actually going well, but you're waiting for it all to fall apart.
You can't fully relax. You're bracing for the inevitable crash. There's a baseline tension in your body even when there's no current threat.
Some people even self-sabotage at this stage - creating problems to feel more in control, because ease feels unfamiliar and therefore dangerous.
What you need: Somatic practices that help your nervous system learn that safety is real. Permission to trust that work can actually be sustainable. Community that reminds you ease isn't a trap.
Stage 6: Relapse/Slip - "See? I Knew It. I'm Broken"
How FOBO shows up: As confirmation bias and catastrophising. You have a difficult week, a challenging project, a moment of overwhelm and FOBO turns it into proof that you were right all along.
"This is exactly how it started in teaching. I knew I couldn't handle it. I'm fundamentally broken."
One hard day becomes evidence of inevitable burnout. The fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What you need: Perspective. Tools to distinguish between "a challenging period" and "heading toward burnout." Compassion for yourself. Understanding that having a hard time doesn't mean you're failing, it means you're human.
Why FOBO Keeps You Stuck
The cruel irony of FOBO is that it keeps you in the very situation that's burning you out.
You're so afraid of burning out in your next role that you stay in teaching - where you're actively burning out right now.
You're so worried about making the wrong choice that you make no choice at all and "no choice" is a choice to stay exactly where you are.
Fear's job is to keep you safe. But fear defines "safe" as "familiar," even when familiar is actively harmful.
Your nervous system would rather keep you in a situation it knows (teaching) than risk the unknown (leaving), even if the known situation is destroying you.
This is why you can't just "think your way out" of FOBO. This isn't a logic problem, it's a nervous system problem.
How to Work With FOBO (Not Against It)
So if you can't logic your way out, and you can't just ignore the fear, what can you do?
You learn to be WITH the fear rather than controlled by it.
One of the practices we use in the Career Change Academy is the RAIN technique where we Recognise, Allow, Investigate and Nurture.
The RAIN Method for FOBO
Recognise: Name that FOBO is present. "This is fear. This is my nervous system trying to protect me based on past experience."
Allow: Let the fear be here without trying to fix it, suppress it, or talk yourself out of it. "It's okay that this fear is here. I don't have to like it, but I can let it be."
Investigate: Get curious about where you feel FOBO in your body. Where does it live? What does it feel like? What does it need you to know?
Not analysing or intellectualising - just noticing with compassion.
Nurture: Offer yourself the kindness you'd give a frightened friend. Place a hand on your heart. Take a deeper breath. Say to yourself: "I see you. I know you're trying to protect me. You're welcome here."
This practice doesn't make the fear disappear. But it changes your relationship with it.
Instead of being controlled by FOBO, you're holding space for it. You're acknowledging its protective intent while not letting it make all your decisions.
When You Work With FOBO
When you stop fighting FOBO and start working with it, there will be a change.
You stop seeing the fear as evidence that you shouldn't leave. You start seeing it as a natural response to a past experience that your nervous system is trying to protect you from repeating.
You stop needing certainty before you act. You recognise that you'll never feel 100% ready, and that's okay.
You start being able to distinguish between fear (which is trying to protect you from imagined future harm) and wisdom (which is based on present reality).
And you start being able to take action despite the fear, not because you've conquered it, but because you've learned to hold it with compassion.
FOBO and Career Transition
Everyone experiences FOBO. Everyone.
The teachers who make it out aren't the ones who don't feel fear. They're the ones who feel the fear and do it anyway - with support.
It’s so difficult to do this alone while you're already depleted.
You need people who understand why leaving teaching is uniquely hard. You need community who won't judge you for feeling guilty or scared. You need structure and accountability so that when FOBO is loudest, you don't give up on yourself.
FOBO is real. It's powerful. It's protective.
And it doesn't have to run your life.
What You Can Do Today
If FOBO is keeping you stuck right now, here are three things you can do:
1. Name it. Stop letting the fear run in the background. Bring it into consciousness. Say out loud: "I'm afraid of burning out again." Just naming it takes away some of its power.
2. Try the RAIN practice. Even just once, even just for five minutes. Notice what happens when you approach your fear with curiosity and compassion instead of trying to suppress it.
3. Ask for support. Whether that's from a friend, a therapist, a coach, or a community of other teachers who get it, stop trying to do this alone.
FOBO thrives in isolation. It loses power in connection.
You're not weak. You're not incapable of leaving teaching.
The question isn't whether you'll feel afraid. The question is: Will you let fear make all your decisions?
Or will you learn to hold it with compassion, thank it for trying to protect you, and move forward anyway?
If you're experiencing FOBO and want support working through it, our Academy community is full of specialist burnout-informed career change support and teachers at every stage of transition who understand exactly what you're going through. You don't have to do this alone.
Categories: : Psychology of Career Change