Breaking Up With The Classroom

The decision to leave the classroom is rarely a knee-jerk reaction but rather the accumulation of many resentful weekends working, pushing through.

The decision to leave the classroom is rarely a knee-jerk reaction but rather the accumulation of many resentful weekends working, pushing through too often when your body needs rest and feeling that nothing you do is truly valued and appreciated.

For some there will be that one lesson observation, or that one email that's the final nail is the coffin and they'll know they can't do another academic year.

Making the decision to leave teaching is actually the hardest part - not looking for and applying for a new job… I say this to give you hope! Once you know it’s time, you can start to work towards your next chapter. So what can help to make the decision?

Just because you're sad doesn't make it the wrong decision. Many of the teachers I coach around the decision to leave really struggle with taking the step of handing in their notice because they're grieving - grieving the loss of a job they loved once. Readjusting to the idea that teaching will no longer be their identity.

It might feel easier to stay stuck in school long after you've decided to leave. Yes when leaving there are financial implications, you need to know what you want to do and how to get there, but often it is fear which keeps us stuck, selling an illusion of safety.

I've spoken before about how leaving teaching is perhaps like leaving a bad relationship - these are a few ways this analogy may help.

Ask yourself… “How does teaching make me feel?”

Does it empower you? Give you room to grow? Does it nurture you and care for you when you need support?

Are you a better person - a fuller expression of yourself when you're with it?

Does it light you up and give you opportunities to express how you feel - what you need?

If you journal (or even if you don’t!) sit down with pen and paper and really reflect on how you feel about yourself on a daily basis. What proportion of that which drains you are cycles of negative thinking which you could perhaps learn to manage, and how much of it is the system that’s unlikely to change?

When you consider how much time you spend at work (how much energy you spend outside of work worrying about it) you may feel your role isn’t as healthy as it could be.

It’s absolutely ok to want more!

Consider how neglectful and suffocating this would be if it were a relationship. That sentence may challenge you (it does me!) and the reason for this leads me to my second point.

You can love elements of the role and still leave.

I think we stay so long because we're conditioned to deplete and sacrifice in the name of serving the children; our tolerance for what we will suffer is extreme and we have a distorted perspective of what is acceptable.

We may be waiting - waiting for it to get really bad, for a clear sign it's no longer night or we can't take anymore, because there are many elements we still love.

If this resonates, I'd sincerely recommend signing up for the “Stay or Go” workshops replays, as they’ll take you through an activity to reflect on the relative loves and loathes about the role - it's so important to accept these may not be compensatory.

Some elements of the role won’t be worth what you get back in return.

And I really want to stress that a lot of what you love about your role you can take with you - not everything, but a lot.

Loving elements of a relationship doesn't make it less damaging.

Trusting yourself - this is your life.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you put off leaving? When you doubt the decision, feel torn by the conflicting advice of others and question how much of your challenges can be remedied by changing yourself?

One of the side-effects of being in a bad relationship is that our self-esteem can take a beating and we start to doubt our ability to make good choices. However, you’ve exhausted ways of adapting and compromising - it’s time to tune into what you want from the next few years. Where do you want to be this time next year?

Once you know it is time to plan your exit, there are a few things that may help you steer a clear path.

Keep a list of reasons why you're leaving. Also note down the “stories'' you'll likely tell yourself and ways you'll second guess the decision. What are your counter arguments for these?

Follow others who have made the change! Be inspired by ex-teachers who have come through to the other side and hear how they did it. On the Adventures After Teaching Podcast there are many interviews with ex-teachers who describe their journey and more spacious lives after leaving, which will reassure you you’re making the right decision.

Making a plan and get support.

Making a plan and thinking about your timeline will help you focus on the next bets step. This break up with invariably be hard and potentially messy, so get support from those who can guide you to the other side and have walked the path successfully.

When you're looking to transition to another job, you'll want to be applying for roles 8-12 weeks before you leave, so make sure you have your CV or resume ready and know what your ideal employer is looking for.

Even if you can’t apply yet, start collating jobs you like to look of and note the core competencies these roles require. You may find there are gaps in your CV and can start looking at courses or networking with others in that field.

This is time to reflect on what you truly value about your role and what to take with you. Also consider what are your non-negotiables are and what won't you tolerate again!

This is where my plug of the Adventures After Teaching Academy comes in… yes there are "off the shelf" courses which will help you write your CV but our Academy programme is very very different.

The programme I've created is a complete hand-held experience where you’ll feel supported by me (and a network of other colleagues in the same situation) to take consistent, aligned action.

You don’t need to have handed in your notice yet to join us - opening again August 2024, this programme helps you find and secure your next role without the overwhelm, while recovering from the years of burnout you’ve been experiencing.

The waitlist is now open, so why not have a look at the what our previous Academy members say. 😊